"They'd Never--"  
Author Harry Turtledove
First Appearance Alien Pregnant by Elvis
Editor Esther Friesner and Martin H. Greenberg
Collected Reincarnations
Genre(s) Science Fiction
Publication date 1994

"They'd Never--" is a satirical science fiction story by Harry Turtledove. It was first published in Alien Pregnant by Elvis, edited by Esther Friesner and Martin H. Greenberg, DAW 1994, and reprinted in Reincarnations, Capclave, 2009.

The story is about an extraterrestrial "attack" on the offices of an American tabloid publisher.