John Parker
Fictional Character
Type of Appearance: Direct
Nationality: United States
Date of Birth: 20th century
Spouse: Lucy Parker
Children: Jesse Parker

John Parker was a non-witch or mundane and non-birder who lived in Sunset Grove. His only interest in birds was dark meat. He was married to Lucy Parker, a witch, with one son, Jesse.

With John not a birder, on Yule Day he went into the family room to watch the news-crystal in peace. His viewing was disturbed by an excessive use of magick by Lucy. The lights flickered and the crystal went black for a moment. He went into the kitchen and Lucy explained that Fred O'Neill had cheated by magicking birds into the area and she would do what it took to not let him get away with it. When John complained what that would do to their magictrixity bill that month, Lucy replied that she didn't care. Being married a long time, John accepted that without further comment and retreated to the family room.

John continued to watch the news-crystal, and he saw something that made him call Lucy and Jesse into the room. There on the crystal was a reported sighting of a Titanis in Fernwood. The two came in and watched the monster bird strut and screech in a park.

Lucy then rushed out and used an even bigger dose of magick. The lights dimmed again and this time the crystal went black and stayed that way. John yelped and came to the kitchen where he saw that Lucy had passed out for a moment. But she was victorious, having brought forth an Archaeopteryx.