| "Of Mice and Chicks" |
|Type of Appearance:||Direct, unnamed|
|Relatives:||Baron Howard (father-in-law)|
Curls, son of Baron Howard, had a wife who always wore enough perfume to outfit a busy portside brothel, and dresses that seemed to be painted on. The newly hired mercenary Lani was infatuated with both her and her husband. Lani's mentor Georgia urged Lani not to act on this infatuation, recalling why they had to flee Crabgrass.
Following the battle against Baron Ritz' crackers, Castle Howard hosted a huge victory celebration. During the party, Curls' wife went missing. So did Lani and Slim Jim. Curls desperately searched for his wife, and Georgia, fearing the worst, accompanied him. They went to the rabbit stables, where they found the three missing people in a depraved ménage a trois. Curls attempted to draw his sword in a murderous rage, but Georgia clobbered him with a beer mug, gathered Lani, and prepared to flee to another town. Curls' wife asked to come with them, but Georgia refused. Shortly after Georgia and Lani departed the castle, Curls' wife and Slim Jim followed. Georgia took every fork in the road at random in order to lose the two of them.
"Curls' wife" is based on the character "Curley's wife" from John Steinbeck's 1936 novella-play Of Mice and Men. Both wives have the same emphasized namelessness in the writings, although some theater productions of the Steinbeck play name the character "Mae" for convenience.